Self-Doubt and Reading Responsibly

Tarot readers, and spiritual readers of any kind, wield a lot of power when conducting a reading. It’s a responsibility I have always taken very seriously, but a recent experience on the other side of the table, so to speak, has given me further insight into just how much power a reader holds, and I have been even further humbled by the fact that people continue to choose me to hold that space for them, in many cases repeatedly.

So, what happened?
A few weeks ago, I visited a psychic medium. I was so excited. This was my first ever experience with a psychic medium, and being a lover of tarot and all things ‘woo woo’, I was curious and open to whatever might come up during the reading. There were so many directions the reading could take, with so many aspects of my life that would have benefitted from spiritual guidance.

Unfortunately, I left feeling a whole cocktail of emotions… and they weren’t positive. In particular, the medium indicated a complete change of direction in my life, effectively erasing years of hard work and personal development. And they didn’t just breeze past it in a passing statement either. They doubled down, tripled down… quadrupled down. They were adamant. Sure, the overall picture may not have been bleak, but this person had taken a substantial portion of my life that provides me with emotional fulfilment and basically thrown it down the toilet. Or at least, that’s how it felt.

I spent a long time reflecting on the reading, because I have been on the opposite end of the interaction before, where a client acknowledges that everything I have said is right, except for that one hard truth they aren’t ready to hear. Was I being that client?

It took me a long time to sift through everything that was said in the reading, both what I had said to the medium, and what she had said to me, but I eventually came to the realisation that every statement she had come out with about my life had been ‘set up’ by information that I had already given her. The conclusions she made about my life were not unprompted or spontaneous.

I can’t speak to the legitimacy of this medium, at the end of the day, even the best spiritual readers can have an off day. But based on my personal experience with this individual, I came to the conclusion that this medium probably was not a medium at all.

And then I started to feel really stupid for not seeing it sooner, which in itself was stupid. Because anyone can fall foul to a bad reading, even a tarot reader. And I’m glad I did, because it has given me a greater appreciation for my clients and a further resolve to provide my clients with a positive, valuable experience. However, had that have been my first ever experience of a spiritual reading, would I have been so keen to go back for another? On a scarier note, if I had bought into the predictions she made, could I have given up on a part of my life that I have worked hard to cultivate, and that is very special to me?

The Insidious Nature of Self-Doubt
Though I discredited the reading some time ago, I’ve reflected on the experience quite a lot since, and in doing so, I’ve come to realise why a reading like this can be so impactful, and why we can believe something, even if it feels outlandish, or when you ultimately break it down, plain ridiculous.

No matter how strongly our intuition or our gut tells us something, how confident or self-assured we are, how much faith we have, most of us still have a little voice in the back of our head that tells us, maybe we can’t have what we want. Maybe we can’t achieve what we want. Maybe what we desire is not meant for us. Maybe we’re not good enough. Maybe we don’t deserve it. Maybe we’re not worthy.

Maybe this thing the reader has predicted for us is all we’re meant for.

Maybe we were wrong.

Self-Doubt. The root of it all.

And self-doubt is ubiquitous. We may not all doubt ourselves in the same way, but we do all doubt ourselves in some way. It taps into our deepest, darkest insecurities. And so, when faced with a reader who is triggering these doubts, whether intentional or unintentional, it creates a kind of blindness, in which we are unable to see the situation for what it is, unable to think clearly and logically about what the reader is saying, and whether their statements hold any realistic merit, value or insight for you to use in your life.

The thing is, as a tarot reader myself, I can tell you that self-doubt has no place in a tarot reading. Even the most confronting of readings, the most challenging of insights, should feel like tapping into a knowing that has always existed deep inside of you, something you knew all along. It should feel peaceful. It should feel calm. And most of all, you should leave your reading understanding why that difficult message is actually in your best interests, rather than tapping into fears or insecurity.

As an example, when a reading indicates that it might be in your best interests to part ways from an on-again-off-again relationship that has caused you nothing but pain, even if you love that person deeply, it taps into a profound knowing within you that the relationship is never going to be what you want it to be. You already knew that, even if you had been consciously telling yourself over and over again that this time would be different. Perhaps, sub-consciously, you were holding onto that relationship because you didn’t believe you would find someone who treated you better. Where does that belief even come from?

Notice how, in the example above, the client is validated and seen, even when the message is hard to hear, and given real, tangible insights as to what’s wrong, what to do about it, and why they might be in the position they’re in, while also demonstrating hope for a better future. The client is empowered. The client is hopeful. The client is encouraged to believe in their own value. These are the sort of feelings you should be leaving a reading with. We shouldn’t be riddled with self-doubt.

So, my dear friends, if you are feeling intensely doubtful of yourself after a reading, if you feel like your spirit has been crushed, if you are feeling less hopeful about your future, these are signs that the message probably isn’t for you.

Have you ever had a bad reading experience? If you feel comfortable, please do share your experience with me down in the comments, and join the conversation!

N x

If you are interested in purchasing a tarot reading that is supportive, compassionate and empowering, please consider checking out my own offerings by clicking here. I would love to work with you and show you how wonderful and uplifting readings can be!